MY FRIEND JUST WENT OUT FOR DINNER AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER TURNED UP AT THE WINDOW LIKE HE HAD A FRICKING RESERVATION
GOD DAMMIT AUSTRALIA
Someone enjoys sugar rushes.
i have to be funny because being hot is not an option
Do u ever look at someone and you’re like how
benefits of being friends with me
- shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
- shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them
Colleges don’t offer this as a major so what’s the fucking point
You are so used to your features, you don’t know how beautiful you look to a stranger.
I can’t believe I’m even more beautiful than I think I am this is incredible where’s my modeling contract
wanna make a secret handshake it involves us touching our mouths together for three hours
actual footage of dogs when there are no people around
in grade 11 i was on the phone w this boy i wanted and i owed him a favour or something so i was like “it can be anything you want” and he was like “anything?” and im like ya thats what i fuckin said and he goes “can you explain to me how a fridge works? like how does it stay cold”
BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM I REPEAT BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM HE IS BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM THIS IS A CVS NOT A BEACH NOT YOUR HOUSE PEOPLE HAVE PISSED ON THIS FLOOR AND JESUS HAS DIED FOR YOUR SINS AND NOT SO YOU CAN BE BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM